Star Wars is a Samurai Movie

With the new Star Wars movie coming out, I thought I'd lay my theory on everyone. I've explained this idea to people before, and I think it makes sense, and so does everyone I explain it to.

Star Wars is a space samurai movie.





Why do the newest ones all suck? They diverged from the original theme. Its all completely explainable. Ok check this out. So there's this samurai sword school called the Jedi-ryu (ryu roughly translates to "style" or "school"). All the greatest swordsmen in the land are part of the Jedi-ryu. However, the evil daimyo (feudal ruling lord) is part of a competing sword school, the Sith-ryu.

The story focuses on a young samurai, Luke Skywalker, who becomes a member of the Jedi-ryu after meeting an old hermit in the wilderness named Obi-Wan Kenobi (even sounds Japanese).

Turns out, Obi-Wan was originally the Sensei (teacher) at the Jedi-ryu dojo (training hall). He was the teacher of two famous students, Anakin Skywalker- Luke's father, and Darth Vader. When Anakin was chosen to succeed Obi-Wan as the head of the ryu, Vader rose up and assassinated Skywalker, leaving the Jedi-ryu, and starting his own sword school, the Sith-ryu.

Vader become daimyo over the galaxy and rules with an iron fist. He attempts to wipe out Anakin's bloodline to prevent any succession, and kills Luke's adoptive aunt and uncle in the process.

Luke then decides to follow Kenobi-sensei into space to confront Vader and topple his throne (-of blood ha ha ha ha). They must travel to his huge palace and sneak in to confront him. They make it in, where Kenobi-sensei finally faces his former pupil. 

In an act of self sacrifice, he allows Vader to kill him, thus allowing his spirit to travel to the astral plane where he can help Luke as a spirit. Luke escapes the castle fortress, and joins up with a group of ronin (masterless samurai) and storms the palace, destroying the castle. Luke, with the help of the spirit of Kenobi-sensei, drives away Vader and saves the Han (fief).

Luke, victorious, is then instructed by the spirit of Kenobi-sensei to go to the Degobah province and find the last great Jedi-ryu warrior, Yoda-dai sensei (great teacher).

Skywalker learns the finer points of the art, but leaves before his training is complete. It turns out Vader has his own sensei, the Emperor.

The Emperor, recognizing the threat the young Skywalker presents allows Vader to bait Skywalker in order to trap him. Vader captures the ronin, calling Skywalker out to cross swords with the student. After a drawn out battle, Vader gains the upper hand (get it), and releases a tid-bit of important information, Vader is Luke's father, Anakin. Apparently the whole "death" thing was a metaphor for switching sides to the Sith-ryu, and Vader actually is Anakin. Vader goads Luke into joining him and ruling the han together, overthrowing the Emperor, and taking power for themselves.

Luke rejects Vader's plans, and goes off to train more, hoping to gain some new techniques. When he comes back, he is more powerful than ever, and thinks himself to be the new Sensei. 

He goes back to Yoda, who balks at his self-righteousness and tells him that the final, secret technique is being withheld from him until he faces Vader in a final showdown. Yoda dies, making Luke the final hope for the Jedi-ryu. Luke faces Vader yet again, this time defeating him.

Seeing an opportunity to gain a new apprentice, the Emperor who was watching the climactic battle the whole time, asks Luke to take Vader's place as daimyo. Luke refuses, and the Emperor engages and quickly overpowers him. Vader, recognizing his place as Luke's sempai (senior student), kills the Emperor, sacrificing his own life. The han is safe, and Luke is now dai sensei.

Makes sense, doesn't it? Its like every cliché samurai movie ever made- Student kills master, other student gets revenge. That's it. So what made the other movies suck? Well, they forgot the Samurai story. Turned it into a sci-fi flick. Even the fight coordination took on a more Chinese martial arts feel over the straightforward and overly simple Japanese style of kenjutsu (Japanese fencing). My hope is that JJ Abrams caught onto this and picks it up in the new movies, though I'm not holding my breath. Well, here's to the new movies, and hope you enjoyed reading this completely overthought geek-out.